Messed up a Witnessing encounter, now what?
Q: I need some advice. I go out with my girl friend a few times a month for many many years, usually Friday or Saturday night to our small town legion or one other place. It’s usually a very chill atmosphere. They have meat raffles and fundraiser dinners, etc. I have one or two drinks for the whole night and I never get drunk. I don’t like being drunk at all.
This past Saturday night, my girlfriend was talking to a couple of men that were sitting a couple seats down from us. I wasn’t really part of the conversation until they started talking about church, talking bad about it, and my girlfriend pointed at me and said “I don’t go to church but she does”, and all I said was “yes! I love my church!” then one of the guys started talking very disrespectful to me about church, God, and Jesus. Then my girlfriend was talking to the other guy and kind of walked away. This guy was YELLING at me for a solid 10 minutes. I couldn’t get a word in at ALL. He was cussing Jesus and I stayed as calm as I could. I tried to talk to him but every time I tried to say anything he just yelled more and more. I interrupted him and said “look, I am a woman, you seem very angry and it’s making me really uncomfortable, can you please stop screaming at me”. That just made him even more mad! I didn’t know what to do. I finally snapped and YELLED back, after another 5 minutes of him yelling at me, and told him, “I already told you that you were making me uncomfortable and to stop screaming at me, you say you don’t need church to be a good person but from the looks of how you act, you absolutely DO! What kind of man speaks to a woman like this?! now leave me alone”. I was VERY loud. I’m loud in general but I was LOUD. The whole place went silent and a few people walked over in between us. I was shaking and crying. I couldn’t believe it.
Now here’s where I need advice. I have really been praying a lot lately about what is my calling. And every time I pray about it God tells me that I should be bringing people to the Lord that are very difficult to speak to or people that are hard to reach if that makes sense. I am a deeply empathetic person and I see it as my gift. I am very good at loving people. All the people. Part of me thinks that I should just not go out with my girlfriend anymore to just completely avoid these types of situations from happening, but the other part of me thinks that it’s not a coincidence that I have been praying about my calling and that’s the answer that I’m getting and then this happened. I hope this makes sense. What would you do? Also, I do realize I should’ve just walked away when this happened. I sort of feel like this was a lesson that God was teaching me that these are the kind of people I’m going to run into if I’m following my calling and that I need to work on keeping my cool and knowing the right things to say. Thx!
A: It is wonderful you love God and church. I definitely want to encourage you in your faith, growth, and in sharing Christianity with others.
This past Saturday night, my girlfriend was talking to a couple of men that were sitting a couple seats down from us. I wasn’t really part of the conversation until they started talking about church, talking bad about it, and my girlfriend pointed at me and said “I don’t go to church but she does”, and all I said was “yes! I love my church!” then one of the guys started talking very disrespectful to me about church, God, and Jesus. Then my girlfriend was talking to the other guy and kind of walked away. This guy was YELLING at me for a solid 10 minutes. I couldn’t get a word in at ALL. He was cussing Jesus and I stayed as calm as I could. I tried to talk to him but every time I tried to say anything he just yelled more and more. I interrupted him and said “look, I am a woman, you seem very angry and it’s making me really uncomfortable, can you please stop screaming at me”. That just made him even more mad! I didn’t know what to do. I finally snapped and YELLED back, after another 5 minutes of him yelling at me, and told him, “I already told you that you were making me uncomfortable and to stop screaming at me, you say you don’t need church to be a good person but from the looks of how you act, you absolutely DO! What kind of man speaks to a woman like this?! now leave me alone”. I was VERY loud. I’m loud in general but I was LOUD. The whole place went silent and a few people walked over in between us. I was shaking and crying. I couldn’t believe it.
Now here’s where I need advice. I have really been praying a lot lately about what is my calling. And every time I pray about it God tells me that I should be bringing people to the Lord that are very difficult to speak to or people that are hard to reach if that makes sense. I am a deeply empathetic person and I see it as my gift. I am very good at loving people. All the people. Part of me thinks that I should just not go out with my girlfriend anymore to just completely avoid these types of situations from happening, but the other part of me thinks that it’s not a coincidence that I have been praying about my calling and that’s the answer that I’m getting and then this happened. I hope this makes sense. What would you do? Also, I do realize I should’ve just walked away when this happened. I sort of feel like this was a lesson that God was teaching me that these are the kind of people I’m going to run into if I’m following my calling and that I need to work on keeping my cool and knowing the right things to say. Thx!
A: It is wonderful you love God and church. I definitely want to encourage you in your faith, growth, and in sharing Christianity with others.
It is great you are bold enough to step out in faith to try to reach others for Christ and share truth. Keep doing that! 😀😊😇
We encounter people who are unsaved, and while on earth we always will. Many are open to spiritual conversations, but others are not.
Some are intellectually blind to truth of God and others purposely blind themselves as they don't want to be accountable to God. This is very clear and reality of those in their sin nature. They love sin and don't want to do what is right. Even though we know from reality and from Scripture telling us that the Law is written on them and that they know right from wrong, with their conscience accusing [or after searing it] excusing it (their sinful thoughts, words, deeds and behaviors). Thus they hate God and don't want to think about Him so they can sin to their contentment.
Others while in their sin nature have had bad experiences so they have negative and even outbursts on the topic. Unfortunately there's cults and false churches and false converts these folk likely encountered which is why they are that way. Even if they had gone to church before, they got hurt and left.
Church and believers aren't perfect, yet these folk think they should be while ignoring that they themselves aren't either. They hold people to a high standard that none of us can live up to, and thus also blame God unfairly. They need tlc and sometimes when unreasonable, end the convo. In your situation a man was speaking to you like that, and that wasn't okay. It does point to the need to strive to have another believer with you while you are out as you will encounter gospel opps and need to have a security and witness in case things go bad. But also someone else can step in to redirect, take the heat off you, change course, or together leave... and do so safely. It is also a reminder why we should always be around and go places with believers. We do want all the Gospel opps we can encounter, but even in the NT they went out in 2 and 3s. We should heed that too even if we are doing things like you do with that pal.
Regardless, the seeds have been planted as best you could with him, and it doesn't return void Scripture says. Even if the only thing they got out of it was being pricked in their conscience of the fact God is real, they know it, and have to deal with their standing between him and God. It will either bring him towards God for salvation, or help coals on his head for damnation. You tried to help him, and while many of us blow it in a convo, we learn from it.
In addition, others had the same God reminder hearing the discussion. And also... your friend may not have known how to help you when it went south.
Her salvation may be the main opportunity right in front of you that was meant to be out of that situation: even today, bring up the topic to her briefly then intentionally swing to the Gospel. Take her thru the good test. And heres another sample of sorts, and here as quick examples to help you discuss, while addressing to her "why Church and Jesus are actually important". After you share the 1st video with her or talk to her to take her through it... ask her "if she ever understood thr Gospel so clearly before". And ask "if she wants to be right with God through faith in Jesus today?" If yes, have her pray to God. And rejoice over her salvation. Buy her a good Study Bible and take her to church with you from now on, to help disciple her there. If she's not interested, you planted a seed and God knows her heart and future in the faith...
Here are some great evangelism equipping resources. I hope bless you as you reach those who still need Christ & salvation. It has faq areas on how to handle people who behave like he did, irl or online, and here is additional helps on how to deal with this rightly in the future. See the "Witnessing online" section, that info is useful irl too.
God will guide you in the rest, and you can review your encounters to learn how to better respond time after time. God is with us and helps us grow, be encouraged! ✨️✝️
About our purpose and calling, this will help guide you well 😊.
Further believers resources at the links will also bless you.
God bless
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