Guiding a new believer who is fearful & doesn't want to share Christ
Q:. I have a friend whom recently found Jesus. I couldn’t have been more happy for this friend and I showed so much support.
Well I asked her if they wanted to attend a gathering with other Christians whom were going to share Jesus. She didn’t want to go because she felt unsafe about “nonbelievers” because they’re unpredictable in their behaviors. It really bothered me so I didn’t really engage with her for a couple of days.
I come across a video discussing how important it is for Christians to share their faith especially with nonbelievers to help bring them to Christ. So I shared it with her and her response was “nice” but then admitted she didn’t watch it because she "doesn’t watch stuff like that" or to some effect. But then she says if it’s short, she’ll watch it. The video isn’t more than 20 mins long. Again, I was really bothered by her response. So I kind of snapped, in a sense? I wasn’t mean to her and I felt the need to address what felt like my friends mentslity/actions and her ashamed faith in Jesus. I pretty much told her that she had to be ready to be persecuted for her faith in Christ, even if that means dying for Jesus. Just as all the Apostles and all believers did. She goes on to tell me that I’m an “extremist” and how I am acting doesn’t make her feel comfortable hanging out with me because God wouldn’t make her do something she isn’t comfortable doing. Granted, she is not into large crowds, she likes being in a more intimate friend group and not be around a lot of people whereas I love being around a bunch of people, so I understood about her being uncomfortable. But God wants to use us outside of our comfort zones and to push us because that is how we become more faithful in Him. I am not saying I am perfect and I still struggle from time to time to share my faith and share it boldly but I’m trying because I am not ashamed of the one who saved my soul. She now doesn’t treat me the same even though I apologized forever making it feel like I was attacking her when really I was trying to encourage her to stand out. But I certainly felt the enemy in this entire encounter with my friend and he’s pushing her away from me. Any advice on how I could approach a situation like this for the future with friends who are lukewarm in their faith would be greatly appreciated because I’m trying to step away from being lukewarm to being on fire for the Holy Spirit. Thank you!
A: Believers are guided by God, on fire for the cause by their spiritual life/the new nature. If she doesn't care to help others come to Christ, Spurgeon questions their salvation. I also question it. Believers are grateful for Jesus dying for us. If they aren't willing to share the Gospel/ die for Him, they likely don't know the Lord as Savior.
She may have come via a false gospel and thus is not aware at all, having not been actually saved. Or chose an idolatrous version of Christianity where she's conformable. What you admonished and tried to educate her about into growth is not extremist. It's basic Christianity.
I would probe her, and discuss the Gospel with her. Why she came to Jesus. Remind she needs discipleship at church. If she avoids church she's avoiding God and His bride- Somethings wrong.
We are commissioned to the Gospel too and she refuses, it would be like a derelict fireman sitting in the fire truck afraid of fire and just rather be comfortable listening to her jam🎶 while people perish in the house fire. Not only would she lose her job but would go to prison for her wicked mindset that lead to others deaths. And God would see her as a wicked servant.
Here's some shorter helps to admonish and educate her.
The Gospel video
NeedGod.com
Anyone But Me; 10 Ways to Overcome Your Fear & Be Prepared to Share the Gospel, by Ray Comfort (book)
Ray Comfort noted he has only had 5x where anything sort of scary happened in 50 years of witnessing (open air preaching globally, even in hostile Israel, and in daily irl convos in various places CA & USA). Fear is false evidence appearing real. And it shows your not trusting God. God protected Daniel in the Lions Den & the men in the fiery furnace. If he allows a situation it is so your faith grows, you can share with others (such as car accident = police and nurses or other folks in the next bed) to glorify God. Believers lives are to glorify God. That's our daily and lifelong goal. She may need a nudge if shes been a believer for a year or two, to get evangelizing. We don't live with one foot in the world... we are all in for Christ. If she is hesitant, encourage, if shes refusing... Tell her, Choose this day whom you will severely, Satan or Jesus.
Are you a good person? Evangelism encounter
If she has no desire to follow Jesus, to pick up her Cross and carry it daily, to kill sin in her life and to be around belivers at church, her salvation is in question. Jesus said if you love Him you will obey and follow. It is a natural thing to a redeemed, as God gave us a new desires and righteous nature at salvation. So if one doesn't have that, they're not Christian. They're hypocritical fakers.
Try to get her to listen to the Livingwaters.com/Podcast there's 300+ episodes and can be a help to her. From episode 0 onwards. Or pick and poke by subject of interest.
And try to get her into the discipleship class at church. She needs to understand and the basics, to get equipped and put on the armor of God... once she's saved. Or her faith will be dashed and she will have doubts. Help save her some pain by getting into those classes, and having one formed if there isn't one.
God has called us out of our comfort zone into the great commission. It isn't optional, but she needs to get equipped. If she has no desire to, it's a red flag.
Plus, she can easily start with tracts. And follow alongside believers doing outreach till she's educatedly equipped. As a new believer so she won't know what to say right away. It took me a while and I've been doing it with ease since 2002.
If she rejects & refuses what your saying and whats natural to the desires of one born again by God, treat her as an unbeliever, but lovingly care, and call her to examine her faith. Just don't be best friends unless she shows fruit proof of being born again. "Your" friends need to be among the redeemed at church, and esp with the maturing ones there.
If shes just weak in the faith, or as a babe... try to encourage her. If God is with her, what you shared with her will bother her for her wrong thinking. Ultimately she needs to read and study the Bible, get guided to discipleship at church, & further be in Bible study at church on Sunday and at other opps, and in Worship. And get equipped in evangelism.
If she loves God she will pursue these things. And be grateful for your encouragement and counsel.
Edit: happened to see this podcast today, which may help too and encourage you both.
Our call to the Gospel (podcast)
Again, she's new to the faith so she needs to first join a local church, get discipled in the foundational basics in a class, and be guided to share the Gospel. Firstly In baptism class most good churches have the new believer write out their testimony so they can share it publicly prior to their baptism, (as they've already shared it with the leadership in the class as they confirm she's probably actually saved). As the leadership won't add her to church membership just on a whim of a profession. (Just as the church was careful with Paul).
After her discipleship, and as part of it, they should be teaching the importance of her part in the Gospel commission. And she should be hearing that in the sermons there too. If we are sharing Christ and being faithful servants in righteousness to Christ and God (the trinity), then we're doing what's good and right. And... today isn't promised for the unbelievers just like us believers. God calls us home at our appointed time, so her fears are unfounded, but she needs to as soon as she can, be about The Fathers business in the commission and good works (and using her gifts in the local church).
But on topic, while we are to go into the world, reach the lost, baptize & add them to the church, and disciple them....
Try not to overload her right now. But keep guiding her to Scripture in personal daily reading and Sunday studies , and discipleship class. If the church doesn't have one you can try to disciple her through courses like these, or pass it on to the person/people who are willing to do discipleship classes with her at her church.
Those who love God and their Savior cant help it, in the new nature...they share the Gospel. In my 30s my mom revealed I was always talking to strangers about Jesus when I was younger. I came to profess Christ at 12, but was apparently talking about Him even at a younger age too. Yet, it took time for me to figure out as a young adult how we go about sharing the Gospel. I had no formal training in that at church, and it may be cuz I was a teen or they had no such thing back then. It wasn't till mid 20s that my new church had got an evangelism pastor (and then I found living waters the year after that...and the rest is history). It can take time for her, unless shes on fire and wants to and needs to get equipped to do so.
So, for now the focus on the essentials and foundations with her are first priority, even if its the church teaching those and not you. But do be open to helping answer her qs on things she doesn't understand in Scripture as she reads or studies so she embraces you as a safe & helpful mentor of sorts.
If she comes to you to seek help in how to share the Gospel, you can help her do independent study, review things together and 😀 perhaps end up with her as an outreach buddy to go in town when time allows, & as pop up opps arise in your schedules.
Here's helps to further equip you and for general Evangelism equipping resources.
God bless
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